Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form called a "gripe sheet" which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots and the solution recorded by the maintenance engineers. By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form called a "gripe sheet" which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots and the solution recorded by the maintenance engineers. By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
Filed Complaint: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
Fix: Almost replaced left inside main tire
Filed Complaint: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough
Fix: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft
Filed Complaint: Something loose in cockpit
Fix: Something tightened in cockpit
Filed Complaint: Dead bugs on windshield
Fix: Live bugs on back-order
Filed Complaint: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
Fix: Cannot reproduce problem on ground
Filed Complaint: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
Fix: Evidence removed
Filed Complaint: DME volume unbelievably loud
Fix: DME volume set to more believable level
Filed Complaint: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
Fix: That's what friction locks are for
Filed Complaint: IFF inoperative in OFF mode
Fix: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode
Filed Complaint: Suspected crack in windshield
Fix: Suspect you're right
Filed Complaint: Number 3 engine missing
Fix: Engine found on right wing after brief search
Filed Complaint: Aircraft handles funny
Fix: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious
Filed Complaint:Target radar hums
Fix: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics
Filed Complaint: Mouse in cockpit
Fix: Cat installed
And the best one for last:
Filed Complaint: Noise coming from under instrument panel Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer
Fix: Took hammer away from the midget
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